


You're Only King Once

by loveyouallwrong (drunktuesdays)



Category: Greek
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-14
Updated: 2009-11-14
Packaged: 2017-10-02 17:49:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drunktuesdays/pseuds/loveyouallwrong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dale loses his virginity and his perspective.  Written between 3x01 and 3x02</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Only King Once

Dale doesn't lie. Not to others, and not to himself. Ninth commandment, God's law.

Before the fake Revelations, he had never even broken one. Not deliberately. He even wrote his college application essay on it as his biggest ongoing achievement.

_Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall._

Sheila closes the door to their apartment with a firm click, and his class ring feels too warm, clutched in his palm.

"Dale," Calvin says, his voice awkward and shocked. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he hears himself answer. _Thou shall not lie._ "I'm just gonna go--" Calvin crosses the room before he can finish, and wraps his arms around Dale's shoulders. He's sturdy, and the cotton of his shirt is soft against Dale's chin. He registers this in the three seconds before he cracks, and begins to cry.

_Oh Dale,_ his inner Q says. _You've gotten yourself into a spot of trouble._

  
By the time Rusty gets home, Calvin and Dale are slumped on the couch, feet on the coffee table, watching _Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus_.

"Finished my thing for Hastings," Rusty starts babbling before his jacket is even off. "You would not believe what I went through to finish, though. Involved hypoglycemia, ninjas and _Casey._"

"Rusty," Calvin says meaningfully. Dale keeps his eyes on the screen. It's at the good part, when the shark attacks the airplane.

"Okay, it was a fake ninja. And fake hypoglycemia. Actual Casey though, which when you think about it, is almost as weird."

"Rusty," Calvin says again.

"I told Jordan that she's going to have to put up with me being in the lab more. She seemed okay about it but--"

"Rusty," Dale yells.

"Yeah, Dale?"

"Come watch this movie and quiet down."

"Okay." He feels Calvin twitch next to him, but settles. They sit quietly, and Rusty automatically reaches for the remote to fast forward through the dirty parts. Calvin and Dale don't say anything at all.

  
The next morning, when Rusty leaves, Calvin says, "So what, you're just not going to tell him?"

"I will!" Dale protests. "I'm gonna. I just have to get used to the idea of burning in hell for eternity before I face Rusty's comforting face."

Calvin laughs, and slaps a hand on Dale's shoulder. "I honestly don't know which one's worse." Dale stirs his oatmeal in response, and Calvin's hand grips his shoulder a little tighter. "Dale."

"Yeah?"

"You're not--you shouldn't beat yourself up over one mistake, Dale."

"It's not one mistake, Calvin. It's this year. It's last year. It's who I _am_ now." He says that last part a little louder than he meant to, but continues. "I've given up USAG, I consort with sinners and don't even notice half the time. I almost overslept and missed service last Sunday! And for what? So I could give up everything I've ever believed in? Become someone I don't even know? It's not one mistake, so don't _patronize_ me."

Calvin bites his lip. "Can't you just, I don't know, confess it?"

Dale scoffs. "I'm a hedonist, not a _Catholic_."

"What about a new pledge?" Calvin presses.

"A new pledge?" Dale says, interested despite himself.

"Yeah," Calvin says. "Like, okay, it took the death of Peter Parker's uncle before he fully understood the importance of being Spiderman, right? Why don't you make a new pledge? Now that you understand temptation, and have walked the path, you can better lead your purity pledge brothers through their temptations."

Dale narrows his eyes in thought. "That's...not a half bad idea." He jogs to his bedroom, and fishes the purity pledge out from where he threw it last night. He calls out to Calvin, "Since Sanjay and Brian are still at Fire Island, you're gonna have to stand in for them. Can you do that?"

"Yeah, Dale," Calvin says from the doorway. He grins at Dale who can't help but grin back. He hands the ring to Calvin and kneels. "Whoa," Calvin says, nonplussed.

"Quiet. I, Dale John Kettlewell, do solemnly regret the transgressions I have made in the past. I have turned my face away from Jesus, towards the bosom of a seductress of the highest order. I lost myself to her siren-like--"

"Dale."

"Anyways. I swear, on this ring, that I will not fall again. I pledge myself and my purity to God until--"

"Until you feel differently," Calvin says.

"Until I decide I _want_ to rot in Hell?" Dale asks.

"Dude, is it likely? Then what does it matter?" Calvin dangles the ring in front of him.

"Fine," Dale says. "I pledge myself and my purity to God until such time I feel my pledge is complete."

Calvin slides the ring over his finger, and Dale lets out a breath he hadn't meant to hold.

There's a discreet cough from behind them, and when they turn to look, Rusty and Cappie are standing there.

"You didn't even tell me where you registered," Cappie says. "Oh, how I enjoy picking out dishtowels." He looks off in the distance and sighs.

Rusty says, "We're having a huge party at the KT house, and I forgot the duct tape and the clothespins. You guys coming?"

"I'm in," Calvin says. "Dale?"

"No, I got some stuff to do here," Dale says. "But Rusty, I was thinking. Your fraternity bros host these big parties, and how are these people getting home? _Everyone_ can't be walking."

"Bye Dale!" everyone choruses. Cappie flips Dale's hood over his head before ducking out, and Dale bats it off before following them to the door.

"I can make up fliers advertising Safe Rides," he shouts over the banister. Nobody hears him, but it's fine. He's got wordpress and access to the school's Letters to the Editor submission address.

He's got people to save.


End file.
